I’ll never forget the day Dr. Martinez quit. Twenty-two years on faculty, beloved by students, and the heart of our Latin American studies program. She handed me her resignation with tired eyes. “I can’t keep doing this,” she said. “The university takes everything and gives nothing back.”
That was the wake-up call that changed how we do faculty retention. If you’re reading this, you’ve probably had your own “Dr. Martinez moment.” Let’s talk real solutions – none of that HR fluff you’ve heard before.
The Hard Truths About Faculty Retention
After fifteen years in academic HR, here’s what nobody wants to admit:
- We’ve created a system that burns out good people
The “work until you drop” culture isn’t sustainable. Last month, I saw a tenure-track professor grading papers in the hospital while in labor. We’ve normalized the abnormal. - The pay is embarrassing
Our new astrophysics hire makes less than his former grad students do at SpaceX. But sure, let’s keep pretending passion pays the mortgage. - The bureaucracy is suffocating
It takes 17 signatures to buy a $200 lab supply. Meanwhile, professors spend 40% of their time on paperwork instead of teaching or research.
What Actually Works (From the Trenches)
1. Pay People What They’re Worth
Stop the “nonprofit salary” excuses. Get creative:
- Housing allowances in crazy markets (looking at you, Boston and San Francisco).
- Student loan forgiveness programs.
- Royalty sharing for patented research.
When we started offering 5% of licensing revenue to inventors, suddenly everyone wanted to commercialize their work.
2. Protect Their Time Like It’s Gold
The average professor spends 68 days a year on meaningless admin tasks. We:
- Hired three administrative “ninjas” to handle paperwork.
- Created a “no meeting zone” every Wednesday.
- Gave each department a “bullshit task” elimination budget.
3. Fix the Two-Tier System
The adjunct/tenure divide is morally bankrupt. We’re phasing it out by:
- Converting long-term adjuncts to teaching professor roles.
- Offering benefits to all faculty working over 50%.
- Creating promotion paths for non-tenure track.
4. Make Leadership Actually Lead
Bad chairs destroy departments. Now we:
- Train chairs like actual managers (wild concept).
- Do 360 reviews with teeth.
- Let faculty vote no-confidence (and mean it).
The Moment That Changed Everything
When Professor Kim’s father died, she had to fight for bereavement leave because “parents don’t count as immediate family” in our old policy. The day we changed that policy was the day retention improved.
Your Action Plan (No Budget Needed)
- Listen – Conduct stay interviews before exit interviews.
- Protect – Guard faculty time like it’s your job.
- Respect – Treat adults like adults.
The solution isn’t complicated: Value people first, and the rest follows. Or keep losing your best people to schools that do.
The Bottom Line
Retention isn’t about fancy gimmicks—it’s about showing faculty they’re valued beyond just being warm bodies in classrooms. Pay them fairly. Lighten their load. Give them room to grow. And for heaven’s sake, stop acting like wanting a personal life is some radical demand.
What’s working at your campus? Any creative retention wins or horror stories? Drop them in the comments—let’s learn from each other.
P.S. If your HR team is tired of playing whack-a-mole with resignations, hit reply. Let’s brainstorm real solutions that don’t involve begging people to stay with pizza parties.
