Let’s be honest – hiring today feels different from it did just 10 years ago. Remember when you could just post a job and have great candidates lining up? Those days are long gone. Now, if you want to attract top talent, you’ve got to build actual relationships.
But here’s the problem: everything’s gone digital. How do you create real connections when most of your interactions happen through screens? I’ve been there, and I’ll share what works.
Why Bother with Relationship Hiring?
Think about the last time you felt like just another number in a hiring process. Not great, right? That’s exactly what we need to avoid.
Here’s why putting in the effort matters:
- People apply where they feel valued – Would you rather work for someone who sees you as a person or a resume?
- Your reputation spreads fast – One bad candidate experience can cost you multiple potential hires.
- It saves you time later – Build a talent pool of people who already know and trust you.
“Hiring is about people, not paperwork. Treat candidates like you’d want to be treated.”
The Digital Dilemma in Recruiting
We’ve all been there – sending out dozens of LinkedIn messages only to get crickets in response. Or worse, having great candidates drop out because the process felt impersonal.
The biggest challenges I’ve faced:
- That awkward moment when you realize your message sounds like every other recruiter’s.
- Candidates are ghosting you because they never felt a real connection.
- Trying to show your company culture through a computer screen.
But here’s the good news – I’ve found ways to make it work.
How to Connect with Candidates (Not Just Contact Them)?
1. Ditch the Copy-Paste Messages
You can spot a generic recruiter message from a mile away. They all say the same thing: “I came across your profile…” Yawn.
What works better:
- Start with something personal: “Hey [Name], I noticed you worked on [specific project] – that’s really impressive!”.
- Keep it casual like you’re talking to a friend.
- Show you’ve looked at their profile (not just keyword-matched them).
2. Be Shockingly Honest
Candidates can smell BS from miles away. I’ve found that being upfront actually builds more trust.
Try saying things like:
- “Here’s what’s great about this role… and here are the challenges”.
- “The salary range is −− – does that work for you?” (instead of “competitive compensation”).
- “We’re moving a bit slow because [reason], but I’ll update you every Tuesday”.
3. Talk Before You Need Them
This one’s golden. Don’t just reach out when you have a job opening.
Easy ways to build relationships:
- Comment on their LinkedIn posts with actual thoughts (not just “Great post!”).
- Share articles they might find interesting.
- Check in every few months just to say hi.
4. Use Video Like a Human
A 30-second video message works WAY better than another email.
Simple ways to use video:
- Record a quick “Hey, I’d love to chat about this” instead of typing it.
- Send a virtual office tour so they can see your space.
- Do quick intro videos instead of formal first interviews.
5. Respond Like You Would to a Friend
Nothing kills a relationship faster than ghosting. Even if it’s a no, say something.
My rule of thumb:
- Reply to applications within 2 days (even just to say “Got it!”).
- If rejecting someone, give a real reason they can learn from.
- Always end with “Let’s stay in touch” if they seem promising.
Using Tech Without Losing the Human Touch
Yes, we need tools to handle volume, but they shouldn’t make candidates feel like they’re talking to a robot.
Tools I actually like:
- Calendly for scheduling (but I still personalize the invite).
- Simple AI tools to help draft messages (that I then rewrite in my voice).
- CRM systems are used to remember personal details about candidates.
What to avoid:
- Auto-replies that clearly didn’t come from a human.
- Sending messages at 3 AM (we all know it’s automated).
- Using someone’s name 15 times in one email (feels creepy).
Social Media That Works
Forget the corporate posts nobody reads. Here’s how to use social media to connect:
What’s worked for me:
- Posting behind-the-scenes office moments (the real stuff, not staged photos).
- Sharing funny hiring stories (candidates love seeing the human side).
- Responding to comments and DMs (shocking, I know).
How to Know If It’s Working?
You don’t need fancy metrics to tell if your approach is working. Just ask yourself:
- Are candidates responding more to your messages?
- Are people referring their friends to you?
- Do you recognize names when applications come in?
The Bottom Line
At the end of the day, people join people, not companies. The more you can show the real humans behind your hiring process, the better candidates you’ll attract.
Quick cheat sheet:
- Write like you talk – no corporate jargon.
- Be honest, even when it’s uncomfortable.
- Use tech to help, not replace you.
- Stay in touch before you need something.
Building real relationships takes more effort than blasting out job posts, but it’s the only way to hire great people in today’s market. And honestly? It’s way more fun this way, too.
Now go send that casual, human message to a candidate – I promise it’ll work better than template #47 in your recruiting software.
