Look, I get it. You’ve got a remote team, and on paper, everything’s fine—work gets done, deadlines are met, no one’s setting the office microwave on fire. But something’s missing.
It’s that team feeling. The kind where people actually know each other, help without being asked, and don’t just vanish into the void after sending a “thumbs up” reaction.
I’ve been there. I’ve managed remote teams where the only “bonding” was a mandatory Zoom happy hour that everyone muted through. It doesn’t have to be that way. Here’s what actually works.
The Problem With Remote Teams (It’s Not What You Think)
You know what kills remote team cohesion? Silence.
No conflict—silence.
When you’re in an office, even if you hate Dave from accounting, you still interact. You complain about the broken printer, you awkwardly share the elevator, you steal his yogurt from the fridge (wait, just me?).
Remote? If you’re not intentional, people become names on a Slack list. Work feels transactional. And when things go wrong, no one speaks up because, honestly, they don’t really know each other.
Signs your team is drifting apart:
- Every Slack message starts with “Sorry to bother you…”
- The only time people talk is when something’s on fire.
- You realize you have no idea what half your team actually does all day.
Fixing It Without Being That Guy Who Forces Icebreakers
1. Make Space for Real Talk (Not Just Work Talk)
Here’s the thing—you don’t bond over project updates. You bond over complaining about bad Wi-Fi, sharing dumb memes, or debating whether pineapple belongs on pizza.
How to do it:
- Have a #random channel where work talk is banned. Only memes, pet pics, and “why is my coffee always cold by the time I drink it?”
- Start meetings with “What’s something dumb/fun/annoying that happened to you this week?” (No pressure—just let people share if they want.)
- If someone mentions a hobby (gardening, gaming, whatever), remember it. Next time, ask about it. “How’s your tomato plant doing?” goes further than “How’s Q3 looking?”
“Remote teams don’t fail because of distance. They fail because no one talks unless they have to.”
2. Ditch the “All Meetings Must Be Productive” Mindset
If every call is agenda, updates, and action items, people will dread them.
Try this instead:
- Weekly “What’s Blocking You?” session – 15 minutes max. No fluff, just “Here’s what’s slowing me down—anyone got ideas?”
- Monthly “Show & Tell” – Let someone share something they’re working on (work or not). Coding project, woodworking, their weirdly extensive sneaker collection—whatever.
- No-agenda coffee chats – Pair people up randomly for 15-minute calls. No work talk allowed.
3. Write Like a Human, Not a Robot
Nothing kills a connection faster than messages that sound like they were written by an HR manual.
Bad: “Per my previous email, please advise on the status of the deliverables.”
Good: “Hey, any update on this? No rush—just checking in!”
Bonus points for:
- Sending a voice note instead of a novel-length email.
- Throwing in a GIF when appropriate (key word: appropriate).
- Actually using emojis. (No, not in the “Kind regards, ” way. In the “This client is driving me nuts” way.)
Trust Is Everything (And No, Micromanaging Isn’t the Answer)
If you don’t trust your team, one of two things happens:
- You micromanage them into resentment.
- You assume they’re slacking off, and they feel that energy.
How to build trust when you can’t see people?
1. Default to Over-Communication (At First)
- Share updates even if they’re messy. “Here’s where we’re at—still figuring out X, but we’ll get there.”
- Admit when you don’t know something. “Honestly, I’m stuck on this. Any ideas?”
- Explain why things are happening. “We’re changing X because of Y—not just because I felt like it.”
2. Judge Work by Results, Not Online Status
Nothing screams “I don’t trust you” like:
- Tracking how long someone’s Slack is “active.”
- Freaking out if someone doesn’t reply in 10 minutes.
- Assuming someone’s lazy because they work odd hours.
If the work gets done, who cares if they logged in at 9 AM or 2 PM?
3. Actually Give a Damn About People
- Remember small things (“How was your kid’s soccer game?”).
- Check in if someone’s unusually quiet.
- Celebrate wins—even small ones (“Nice job fixing that bug at midnight. Go sleep now.”).
Making Remote Work Less… Soulless
Let’s be honest: most virtual “team-building” is cringe. Nobody wants to play “Two Truths and a Lie” with coworkers they’ve never met.
Here’s what works:
1. Lean Into Weird Shared Interests
- Start a #music channel where people share what they’re listening to.
- Have a “Best Worst Movie Night” where everyone watches a terrible movie and roasts it in a group chat.
- If your team’s competitive, do a fantasy football league (or something equally pointless but fun).
2. Normalize Not Being “On” All the Time
- Encourage people to block off focus time (no meetings, no Slack).
- Shut down the “Sorry for the late reply!” guilt. “No need to apologize—you’re allowed to have a life.”
- The model actually taking breaks. If the boss never logs off, no one else will either.
3. Meet Up in Person (If You Can)
Even once a year makes a difference.
- Rent a house for a weekend.
- Do a coworking retreat.
- Or just go out for drinks.
No forced activities—just let people hang out like normal humans.
How to Tell If It’s Working?
You’ll know your team’s actually connected when:
- People joke around in Slack without worrying about being “professional.”
- Someone asks for help and actually gets it (instead of radio silence).
- New hires don’t feel like outsiders after a month.
If it’s still feeling stiff? Ask. “What’s one thing that would make this team feel more like a team?” Then do that thing.
The Bottom Line
Remote work doesn’t have to be isolating. It just takes a little effort to make sure people don’t feel like they’re working with ghosts.
Start small this week:
- Send a meme instead of a formal update.
- Ask someone how their weekend actually was.
- Let people know it’s okay to not be available 24/7.
That’s it. No fancy strategies. Just… be human about it.
